Technical Support 101

I work in a high tech firm, where we provide high tech solutions to high tech clients. Our software cost easily few hundred thousand bucks. On top of that, we're charging clients for their maintenance as well as tech support. Every time we sell a product, we always boast about our
"comprehensive maintenance program.... Free upgrades, 24 hours 7 days a week free online support....etc" It always sound so attractive when the sales people says it! Nevertheless, being a typical AMERICAN firm, we just can't help being weasels. It' s just our nature.

Being an engineer myself, I fully understand the need for a fast and prompt (and useful) response to their problem. After all, we're talking about billions of dollars spent on building infrastructures, oil refineries, power plants...etc. It's unfair to penalize the clients just because the software is faulty.

Whenever our clients log on to our maintenance web site, they get to chat with an online analyst. They are paying for that anyway. Here's what happens:

Client :"I've got some problems with the software."
Analyst:" I'm sorry, the expert is currently unavailable, and could you try sending in your request through email?"

Damn, Not a bit helpful! So you're left with no choice but to shoot an email to tech support. Once you sent the mail, immediately you'll get an auto response with something like "The difficulty of your request will determine the time which you will receive a prompt response..." Now the word "difficulty" is sort of like a grey area. From an engineer's point of view, anything they can't solve IS always difficult. But from the software developer's point of view, it may just be some trivial matter and may not be given priority.

I understand now why tech firms like us only provide online support and never on the site support. Clients can't strangle us in case everything turns into shit! In a way, they’re getting their balls squeezed by us!!

After all, we’re just a bunch of weasels here...